Friday, February 8, 2013

Study Pays Well

Right away, let me dispel any rumors that this post is sponsored by parents hoping to encourage their offspring to do their homework. That's not the kind of study I'm talking about.

Nor am I implyinga la any of the "Almost the News" posts (a collection of which can be viewed here), that a hole dug in the ground for the purpose of accessing water has been given money by a scientific research project.

What I'm talking about is how much money there is to be made by doing "studies" of one thing or another...apparently, the more stupidier the betterest.



Case in point (with thanks to Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, the source of the following True Truth): In 2009, a team of British scientists led by Oxford University professor Marian Dawkins spent three years studying a group of ducks. The ducks had full access to a pond, a water trough, and a shower. The big discovery that these inquiring minds were aching to know? The ducks preferred standing under the shower to standing in still water.

And it only cost half a million dollars.

I'm in the process of writing a proposal for my own long-term study. I'm sure the scientific community is dying to find out how a middle-aged, male citizen of Minnesota reacts to living in a maintenance-free environment with unlimited access to sleep, food, and Netflix.

1 comment:

Kris Pierson said...

Bwahahaha! (You might also want to add warmth).