Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Army Intelligence

In order to be gainfully employed by Big Brother, Inc. (my current place of gainful employment), it is necessary to be cleared by the Department of Defense and have issued unto oneself a bit of plastic known as a "CAC card." (Pronounced 'kack.')

Right off the bat, let me share that it hurts my feelings that most people call this bit of plastic a CAC card. The reason for my pain? The acronym, CAC, stands for "Common Access Card." It goes against my sense of righteousness and general commitment toward verbal laziness to call something what it is...twice. That's along the same lines as going to the basement to check the "hot water heater."


Verbal frustrations notwithstanding, I recently had to make a trip to my friendly, neighborhood Army base in order to renew said card-card. (Updated update, now the truth can be told: It was actually an Air Force base, but the oxymoronic joke hidden in the above title might not be recognized at all if I had said "Air Force Intelligence.")


After having my renewal application dutifully verified and a new picture taken for the card-card, I needed to Visit The Facilities before driving back to Big Brother, Inc. The room designated for answering Nature's call was easy enough to find, as it had the following placard prominently displayed beside the door:

Nothing surprising there. The word "Men" and a masculine-looking silhouette and even a graphic image meant to communicate that there is space for handicapable persons to enjoy the benefits of the room.

What got my attention, and made me break out laughing, was the placard posted outside a nearby door:

Okay...it was a military base and they probably would have felt silly putting the common, skirt-wearing silhouette outside the rest room designated for female personnel...fine. So was there really a need to give the male personnel a picture to help them recognize which door to go through? Like...the women can handle just reading but the men need an illustration?

Military intelligence, indeed.

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