Friday, January 21, 2011

Almost the News X

Modern-day Babe is Latest Twins Legend
Professional baseball is abuzz with the news that the Minnesota Twins' latest player acquisition is a talking pig.

Six Dead in Church Van Crash on Freeway
The crash comes as no surprise. Dead people are rarely any good at driving church vans.

Quadruple Amputee Tries to Swim Channel
Why is the song "When the red-red robin comes bob-bob-bobbin' along" going through my head? (Oh my goodness...please forgive me!)

State Saw Job Gains in October
Minnesotan lumberjacks made significant advances before Halloween.

2,100 Arrested in Moscow Sweep
Over two thousand inmates of a Russian jail were issued brooms and forced into a street-cleaning effort.

Jet Lost Contact, Forces Capitol Evacuation
The nation's lawmakers cleared out of their offices as a Boeing 727 searched for a misplaced optic lens.

Man Sues Lab Over Accuracy of Alcohol Test
The fact that he thought a dog could efficiently administer such a test may be an indication of his relative level of sobriety at the time.

Man Arrested in Beer Truck Attack
No word as to why no charges have been filed against the truck.

Sting Foils Oregon Bomb Plot
The former front-man for the rock group, The Police, spread Reynolds Wrap over the piece of ground in Oregon where a dead explosive device was buried. Film at 11.

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