Sunday, June 20, 2010

Hey, Dewey, why haven't you posted anything recently?

Possibly random concepts and/or factual facts that may or may not pertain to the above question:

  • One of the driving forces behind Almost the Truth is seeing humor in the plethora of situations in which one finds oneself.
  • There is often humor to be mined from what is actually a painful experience.
  • Humor mined from pain is often not humorous to the actual person experiencing the actual pain.
  • Since June 9th, my life has kept a fairly tight orbit around the planet of Beloved's knee replacement surgery and the recovery from said surgery.
  • As a general rule, Beloved does not read Almost the Truth.
  • Most general rules have at least one major exception.
  • (Insert Murphy's Law here.)
  • I know which side of the bread my butter is on.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Waiting Room

Here I sit, where families wait
While Beloved gets help for her gait
Our 31st to celebrate

What to get her for a present?
More costly than glass over pheasant
A new right knee: Oh my! How pleasant!

When they wheeled her through the door
I can't say that it was a bore
But I've had deja vu before

When 30 years we had been wed
To this same room I had been led
A new left knee laid her in bed

Back then, I felt a whole lot dumber
Than I do this cusp of summer
Now I know PT's a bummer

But still, we let the surgeon slice
To walk painfree will be so nice
And so we've let him do it twice

No...surgery is not a curse
It certainly could be much worse:
I could compose a longer verse!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

What's the opposite of false humility?

Every so often, I click my way over to amazon.com and search on "Almost the Truth about Youth Ministry" just to see if the book-selling behemoth is still making my tome available...or to see if anyone else has written a review. (Thanks, Denise Grove [classmate from high school], for "Funny, funny, funny! Dewey Roth should have written a longer book. I read it in one sitting. It left me wanting more.")

It's always a nice feeling to see it there, but imagine the stuh-range feeling I had when this was my search result:



I know that screen shot might be hard to read, so let me elucidate and illuminate...or at least ruminate.

Brand new for $9.95. That makes perfect sense. That's what a person would pay at http://stores.lulu.com/deweyroth.

I can even kind of understand "12 new from $8.36." Lulu.com being the only place where the book is actually available, (if amazon sells a copy, they have to buy it from lulu.com first) there are apparently some independent sellers out there willing to take a $1.59 loss in hopes of making it up with inflated shipping charges. Okay...fine.

But here's what does a fairly fine job of confusing me beyond the bounds of my normal, loose grasp of reality: "2 used from $16.27"? And to be exact, one seller is offering a "used--like new" copy for $16.27 and a different seller has decided he/she can't let a copy go for anything under $16.28.

Wha--?!!?

Are there people out there who just refuse to get a decent bargain and insist, instead, on paying over 63.5% more? For a used copy? (And True Truth be told, you and I both know those sellers haven't purchased a copy from lulu.com yet, so if anyone is fool enough to order from them, it will be an absolutely new copy.)

What is this...the 1980s?

Of course, the best solution to it all is for you fine folks to order a copy directly from lulu.com, so the pauper-esque publisher (me) gets a bigger share of your hard-earned greenbacks.

THAT'LL teach those unscrupulous up-markers of others' output!