Friday, May 28, 2010

The Muppets Take Hollywood

It started innocently enough.

Doesn’t it always?

On May 16, 2010, I had wanted to note the anniversary of the death of Muppet creator, Jim Henson, in my Facebook status, and so…

It was 20 years ago today, Kermit's daddy just passed away...

This led to a few comments from friends about how we couldn’t believe it had been that long ago and how we were glad to hear that a new Muppet movie was in production.

That’s when the speculations began…

Samwise: What's it going to be? Singing in the Pond, Citizen Kerm, The Princess Pig, or Avatoad?
Dewey: It's a somber drama...Felt Needs. Or maybe a horror picture about puppet cannibalism...Foam on the Range.
T-Girl: What about The Wizard of Foz?
Dewey: The Count of Monte Gonzo
T-Girl: Animal House...no, wait
Dewey: Indiana Kermit and the Electric Mayhem
Samwise: Statler and Waldorf of Arabia; The Maltese Fozzie; How to Train Your Piggy; Dances with Rizzo
T-Girl: Doctor Pigvago
Dewey: A sequel to Castaway, but starring a certain green someone…Kermit the Hermit; Bert & Ernie Go to White Castle; The Big Birdowski

And people say spending time on Facebook is wasteful. Ha!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Almost the News VII

In Hot Water, Utah GOP Leader Quits
Utah's House majority leader announced his resignation at a press conference today held in a hot tub.


DNR has Hired Sharpshooters to Take Out Small Herd of Elk
Apparently, the elk were not able to find their own dates.


World's Most Endangered Turtle Species is Threatened
Well, yeah...that would go along with being endangered, wouldn't it?


Jacobs Abused Boys Back to '62
Physicist, Ezekiel Jacobs, was amazed today as he found that, instead of a specially-equipped DeLorean, all it took was some physical violence to initiate time travel.


44,000 Helmets Recalled by Army
It was an evening full of nostalgia as soldiers from wars long since past reminisced about their headgear.

Chinese Professor Gets 3.5 Years for Setting Up Sex Parties
Seems like way more prep time than would be necessary.

Monday, May 10, 2010

I got to thinkin'...

Last Friday, I went to see a high school production of the mega-hit piece of musical theatre, Les Miserables. [Say it with a French accent: lay mizza-ROB-luh. In conversation, those in the know usually just call it "Les Mis" (Lay Mizz)] It was a great production, considering there were only two lines of spoken dialogue the whole evening and they would earnestly sing such memorable lines as, "Hey, Eponine, what's up today?"

True Truth is, it really was impressive and especially gratifying to see/hear several Giant Step (Children's) Theatre alums blow the roof off the joint.

[For any newcomers, Giant Step Theatre is the group wherein I coach acting, choreograph dance-like spasms, and share a stage with as many as 80 3rd-9th graders. (See www.myspace.com/giantsteptheatre) We generally take a well-known fairy tale and twist it into something familiar-yet-fresh. For example, in February, we performed Snow White and the 7 or 8 Dwarfs.]

ANYway...one of the Les Mis cast members (a Giant Step alum) suggested that we do a twisted version of Les Miserables and call it Less Miserable.

And THAT, dear readers, is what got me thinking...dangerous, dangerous stuph. How about a show focused on:
  • A hospital for folks that find it very painful to recline: Lay Misery
  • Inventing a soft drink without as much carbonation: Less Fizzy
  • An unmarried gal who works as a greeter at a Hawaiian airport: Lei Ms
  • A bed-wetter: Lay Whiz
You can never predict from whence inspiration will spring. But because I'm a little afraid of where this particular bit of brain runoff may go, I best be cutting it off right here. Consider yourself blessed.

Monday, May 3, 2010

The earworm, my friend, is blowin' in the wind

Behold...the quarterly round-up of those irritating snippets of music that were wafting through my head, uninvited, as I woke up from a perfectly good sleep.

FEBRUARY
1 – Ooh-Ooh, The Coffee Says You Must (Okay, this isn’t really a song, but it’s a musical phrase that kept repeating itself in my head over and over when I woke up this morning…no explanation…at all…absoposilutely irritating.)
3 – I’ve Gotta Be Me (Sammy Davis, Jr.) There are plenty of other versions of this song, but I’m so glad it was Sammy’s voice I heard this morning.
5-16 – Songs from Snow White & the 7 or 8 Dwarfs (Whenever I’m in the midst of a production with Giant Step Theatre [Find us on Facebook and mySpace!], my mornings, and several afternoons and evenings as well, are spent with songs from said production tromping through my brain. This time around, I’m being bombarded with lyrics like “Dum ditty dum-dum, dum ditty-doh,” “Don’t try, no don’t try to be somethin’ you ain’t,” and “I am furious. I am livid. I’m insane with righteous anger. I am seething from my toes up to my crown. I am vexed. I am irate. I find it hard to hold my temper, and in fact I cannot keep my breakfast down!”)
19 – Diamond Girl (Seals & Croft)
25 – Joy to the World (Mistimed Christmas celebration in my brain)
28 – Forever in Blue Jeans (Neil Diamond)

MARCH
4 – Mercy is Falling (“Hey-O! I receive Your mercy. Hey-O! And I receive Your grace…”)
10 – Lady (Little River Band)
14 – ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
15 – Who I Am (The Police)
16 – Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows (Lesley Gore)
17 – Lord, I Offer My Life to You
18 – Lady (Little River Band…again. You would think that having attended a Norah Jones concert last night would have a positive effect on my morning earworm, but nooOOoo…)

APRIL
6 – Good News (2nd Chapter of Acts, which is one of THE seminal groups of “Jesus Music,” which became “Contemporary Christian Music,” which became Big Business owned by a company that also makes a fine Kentucky bourbon)
7 – Big Yellow Taxi (Joni Mitchell)
16 – Looking for the Right One (Stephen Bishop)
17 – Words (Bee Gees)
26 – Since I Don’t Have You (Brian Setzer and His Orchestra do a suhweet rendition…very interesting that this popped up while Beloved is back home again in Indiana)