Saturday, January 16, 2010

Almost the News VI

FBI Digs into Yard of Home with 11 Bodies
An internal investigation is underway to determine what has caused the apparent shortage of shovels.


Man Pleads Guilty to Molesting Girl
Of course, he should have been pleading to a judge. If he wanted to plead to a molesting girl, he should have pleaded for her to stop it.


Bill Helps Wireless Users Who Switch
Thanks, Bill. You're a nice guy.


Judge: Gitmo Trials Need Perspective
A new court artist is being sought for the trials of Guantanamo Bay detainees. Judge Royce Lamberth has declared that the work of the current artist "has no depth. It's too flat; practically one-dimensional."


High Court Delays Boy's Return to U.S.
The 9-year-old Brazilian boy waiting to return to his U.S. father will have to wait a little longer. The court can't make a ruling in his case because it's just too stoned.

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