NATO, Russia Resume Ties
Sartorial splendor turned international today as leadership in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization and Russia agreed to go back to the practice of wearing neckties.
State Will Spray for Gypsy Moths
...because gypsy moths apparently can't operate the sprayers themselves.
5-Year-Old Drowns at Pool Birthday Party
Why the family was throwing a birthday party for their pool is unknown.
Iran Compiles Issues for Talks With West
In an effort to be more completely educated on the mainstream of Western thought, top officials in Iran are stockpiling back issues of Readers' Digest.
Charges Against Cop Are Upgraded
While version 1.0 of the charges were in grainy black and white, version 2.0 feature full-color, high-definition, user-friendly controls...and a lower price.
Building Faith While Reducing Waistlines
There's a new program at a local church that combines weightloss with righteousness. It's called "Pray Your A** Off."