Man Gets 3 Years in Meth-Related Fire -- An East Grand Forks, Minnesota, man recently ran into a blazing meth lab and retrieved a treasured possession: a three-year calendar.
Pakistan Braces for More Taliban Bombs -- Quite a trade was made today in the Middle East as Pakistani orthodontists swapped their services for additional explosive devices from Taliban terrorists.
Biker Killed After Hitting Deer -- A minor incident of bullying soon turned into deadly mob violence as an angry crowd of Bambi's relatives sought and found revenge for a motorcyclist's thoughtless act of punching a 7-point buck.
Police Break Up Two Prostitution Rings -- However, this reporter is still trying to figure out why law enforcement officers were telling jokes to prostitutes in the first place.
Hillary Clinton Breaks Elbow in Fall -- And with this single headline, we have gone from reporting the news to predicting it.
Terror Attacks Down Globally -- A wave of fear has swept over the supply of goose feathers around the world. Consequently, experts expect an exceptional rise in pillow prices. That's right...down will be up.