Dewey needs...

One of the latest things to hit Facebook (and you know that I am all about the latest things) is a little exercise in narcissism wherein the practitioner does a Google search on the World Wide Wackfest (www) for the words "Practitioner'sName needs" and then posts the phrases found floating in the Ethernet for all the world to see.


And so, here are the top results for "Dewey needs..."


...shoes
...a home for the holidays
...to regain the pace he once had and develop a step rather than trying to run over everyone
...a glass of water to help him relax but instead discovers marijuana
...a lot of freedom in his close one-to-one relationships and he may experiment with nontraditional forms of relationships
...to win to surpass Donato Hanover’s single season TROTTING earnings record of $233,6190 set in 2007
...to get his act together, lose the frat-boy persona, and learn how to teach
...just four assists to move into the UIndy all-time top ten
...sleep
...to be corrected and modified and brought up to date
...to find a job, and as fate would have it, he decides to take Ned’s
...some schema information for labeling
...shelter only John can provide
...a social life.
..to place a call to Burt Hooten and ask for advice in getting Wandy straightened out
...a win Friday in order to still be playing on Week 11
...Emersonian nudgings to help learn the value of the nonconformist within society
...to abstain from sex for the entire weekend, and if he does, his prize is Jay's virginal Jesus freak sister
...a watch
...to be held properly accountable for failing to pay explicit attention to the specific nature of the power relations surrounding him
...to be mentioned as a leader in education
...to be saved
...all the energy she can muster
...to take a physics class
...money, and desperately wants to enter the local battle of the bands competition
...a ride to the arcade
...a little training (but learns quickly!) and is quite energetic - he'd make a great outdoor companion
...to be replaced
...a full-time team of translators with a language and library background and some input from specialists
...a haircut
...not only to be studied but to be emulated
...a gazebo and money needs to be raised so it can be built
...fired and Davis needs voted out
...to swab a lot of decks
...no defense for his action, certainly
...to be even cooler than me, 'cause he has all that Husky hair
...extra gear for the annual burn convention
...comforting
...to alter five feral cats who are living under a trailer next to her
...your help now
...more than the vet
...to try and pull up a picture on that camera phone, and say, “Dang, I run my own business, but I can’t operate my cell phone!"
...you
...to save all of his friends from an evil baron who wants to pollute the world
...to come up with a hit song
...a ratings boost
...a written report from each person
...to be on quality senior feed as well as hay pellets due to the fact that his teeth are worn down with age
...to be outside by himself in order to go
...miles and an owner with time to spoil him; he was an orphan so he is accustomed to lots of attention from people
...camera lessons
...a biblical lecture from Glenn Dickey
...a plan
...no introduction
...to understand that we no longer live in the 1970's
...a new blog entry [Ah-HA! So THAT'S what this was really all about!]