Real Headlines. Fake News.
Charges Filed Over Stolen Tax Returns
State Attorney Lokk M. Allup said, "It was an elaborate set-up involving pulleys and hydraulic lifts, but we were able to file the charges in the exact location we wanted."
Record-Breaking Coho Salmon Caught
"The slippery devil smashed all my Beatles albums! But we've got him now!"
Moderate Republicans Bring Down Jim Jordan
Yeah, they don't do anything for MY mood, either.
Superintendent Finalists 'Very Strong'
School board member, A. Roma Picky, says, "I can smell them from across town."
Author Drew on Seedy People from Childhood
Starting at the age of 7, Vincent Patrick practiced his limited artistic skills on the arms and faces of the ne-er-do-wells in his neighborhood. A local art critic has been quoted as saying it was "a blessing he turned to writing. His sense of perspective was abysmal."
Scientist in Hawaii Was Cloning Pioneer
Mac A. Damian died recently while on the verge of a breakthrough in his efforts to genetically copy Daniel Boone.
MN Man's Body Recovered from WI Lake; 1 Still Missing
Sheriff Brody stated: "That lake was right here a minute ago, but now...?"
Lake Elmo Drops Its City Administrator
File Under: Some jokes just write themselves
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