Almost the Truthlets, the Fourth

If you haven't been hanging out at Almost the Truth's FaceBook page, first of all, shame on you; second of all, you've been missing The Morning Games, a series of light-hearted trivial pursuits involving movie quotes, song lyrics, sound snippets, and So Much More; and third of all, you've also missed the weekly status updates affectionately called "Almost the Truthlets."

At least there's a cure for the third...behold:

• You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit into the wind. You don’t pull the mask off the ol’ Lone Ranger, and you don’t wear athletic shoes with a double-breasted Chinese silk dinner jacket.
• Talking to plants has been proven to make you look like an idiot.
• Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up saying, "How was I wishing on a star during the day...while I was asleep?!?!"
• I've had it up to here with U...and V and W aren't winning any awards in my book either!
• There's a bright golden haze on the meadow...somebody call the fire department!
• Wake up and smell the dried phlegm encrusted on the pillow of your sorry existence.
• Just got accepted into the Sarcastic Men of America Roundtable Taunting Intelligence Effusing Society (SMARTIES)
• #AddaWordRuinaChristianBook   My Utmost for the Highest Bidder
• Ooh, I need your gloves, babe; guess you know it's cold. And if push comes to shove, babe, I'll steal them; I'm that bold.
• McDonald's...I'm shovelin' it
• We were out on a date in my daddy's car. We hadn't pushed it very far. There in the road, straight ahead: a large hill; our chances were dead.
• When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that'll leave a mark.
• If you can't say anything nice, at least make sure your sarcasm is witty.

By the way...what musical group does the above illustration bring to mind?