In Maine, it is illegal to have outdoor Christmas
decorations past January 14th.
China has more English-speaking residents than the United
States.
UPS trucks get 15,000 parking tickets in New York City every
month.
In New Jersey, it is illegal to wear a bulletproof vest
while committing murder. [So…if I do wear one, is it proof that the murder was
not pre-planned?]
The average mobile phone contains more bacteria than the
average toilet seat. [Maybe we should start sitting on our phones…just to clean
them up a bit.]
The filling in Oreo cookies was originally made of pork fat.
[The perfect snack…Bacon Oreos!]
According to the British Journal of Cancer, eating pickles
regularly can double your risk of developing esophageal cancer. [What if a
person eats them irregularly…like…while standing on their head or in a bowl of
stir-fry chicken?]
You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.
Farting can help reduce high blood pressure and is
beneficial to your health. [Assuming you are the farter and not the fartee]
Sarcasm increases oxygen to the brain, which also keeps the
brain from overheating. [Assuming you are the sarcaser and not the sarcasee…no
wonder my brain is so cool]
The guy who voiced the Pillsbury Doughboy’s laugh was making
the equivalent of over $300,000 a year just for that laugh. [This kind of
ticked me off…then depressed me…then I started wondering what “the equivalent
of” meant…was he paid off in crescent rolls?]
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