Friday, November 22, 2024

Stuph That Has No Reason Being in My Head, Vol. VI

 

You know how the character Raj on The Big Bang Theory couldn't talk in the presence of women and how fake that seemed? That's a real condition called selective mutism and was based on a former co-worker of one of the creators/executive producers of the show.

The author of The Giving Tree, Shel Silverstein, wrote a lot of songs, several of which became radio hits for other artists, e.g., Boy Named Sue (Johnny Cash), Cover of the Rolling Stone (Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show), One's on the Way (Loretta Lynn), and The Unicorn (Irish Rovers).

Maybe I should write a book titled Crying at Sunrise: Mourning All Morning.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

In the movie Jaws, Sherriff Brody's classic line after seeing the shark for the first time, "You're gonna need a bigger boat," was an ad lib by the actor, Roy Scheider.


Paul Lynde was once pulled over for driving on the sidewalk. The traffic cop flipped open his pad to write the ticket and Lynde said, “I’ll take a cheeseburger, hold the fries.” (And the cop chuckled and said, “Get outta here”!)

I have a cough that's so rough it ought to have brought the tree's bough through a dollop of dough.


Friday, November 15, 2024

Inspirational Science Fiction Westerns

 

Saw this sign at the library and thought, "Now THERE'S a fairly specific genre!"

We Gotcher Special Book Requests Right Here!


How many titles could there possibly be on that shelf?

  • Start with Why the Matrix Reloaded Rio Bravo
  • Tuesdays with the Man Who Shot Mad Max
  • Planet of the Blazing Saddles Less Traveled
  • Back to the Purpose-Driven Assassination of Jesse James
  • Star Wars: The Magnificent Seven Can Heal Your Life
  • Butch Cassidy and the Last Lecture of Kahn
  • Man's Search for Close Encounters of True Grit
  • The Untethered Jurassic 3:10 to Yuma
  • The Good, the Bad, and the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Terminators

The Good, the Bad, and the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Terminators



Friday, November 8, 2024

Pleasant Dreams? : The 399th Greatest Song of All Time

 

Being a non-fan of heavy metal and hard rock, I had never heard "Enter Sandman" by Metallica. So, I looked up the lyrics. They start out like a pleasant lullaby, but quickly get a little creepy:

I tuck you in, warm within
Keep you free from sin
Till the Sandman he comes
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight

As if the driving drumbeat, fuzzy guitar, and gravel-filled vocal weren't enough, they up the nightmare inducement in the second verse:

Something's wrong, shut the light
Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of Snow White
Dreams of war, dreams of liars
Dreams of dragon's fire
And of things that will bite

As I was reading these words, I thought, "This is as bad as 'Now I lay me down to sleep...If I should die before I wake'." Then I saw that Metallica quotes that What-Were-They-Thinking prayer as part of the bridge.

But wait! There's more!

Hush little baby, don't say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
It's just the beasts under your bed
In your closet, in your head

At this point, I wonder why they stopped there. They could have lengthened the tune with even more childhood fears:

London Bridge is falling down
Jack fell down and broke his crown
Be you alive, or be you dead
I'll grind your bones to make my bread
Best beware of the farmer's wife
She'll cut off your tail with a carving knife
Ashes, ashes, all fall down
You'll be six feet underground




Friday, November 1, 2024

Almost the News XXX

 

Real Headlines. Fake News.

Channel 6 News with Kent

EV Maker Tesla Breaks Ground on Megapack Energy-Storage Battery Factory in Shanghai
Local officials are baffled why Tesla would bother throwing clods at the Shanghai facility instead of just using a hoe.

Red Knights Down Defending Champs
Boys lacrosse coach, Runnit Uhgin, said, "The hardest part was liquefying the other team, but then it was just chug-a-lug!"

Gulf Coast Braces For Flooding
A loose-knit association of northwestern Florida orthodontists has released a statement favoring high water levels.

Attorney General Says Flawed Youth Charity Will Dissolve
"Just watch as I drop it in this vat of water."

Islamic State Group Says It's Behind Knifings in Germany
...but it's trying to catch up.