Thoughtless Poem

'Tis a dangerous thing

When I sit to write

Not having a thing to say

No story to tell

No gripe to air

No insight to brighten your day

No picture to show

No comic to steal

No tale from my long-buried past

No print ad to tweak

No headline to skewer

Nothing to leave you aghast

'Tis risky, I say

To just let words flow

Unfiltered, straight out of my brain

That's surely the time

The world will find out

I'm kinda  -  a little  -  insane

E.R. Visit Almost Killed Me

Going to a hospital's emergency room is supposed to help a person, right?

I mean...really...the whole "first, do no harm" opening phrase of the Hippocratic Oath applies in the E.R., doesn't it?

I have to ask, because I took Beloved to our local emergency room last month and I almost didn't walk out alive.

The catalyst for the visit was Beloved's right eye that had declared war on her. Could have been an abrasion from trying to get a foreign object out (those durn foreigners!). Could have been a viral infection like what causes cold sores. For all anybody knows, it could have been a Communist plot to influence the next election.

Whatever the cause, I was there solely for moral and transportational support. I shouldn't have been in any danger.

Shouldn't have been...however...

I almost had an aneurysm as my brain tried to sort itself out from a series of loops and spins because of a single statement made by the resident eye doctor: "I usually mispronounce things wrong."

Observed Absurdities™ 32 - Toilet Tissue Issue

I've a COUPLE problems with this note that was taped to the back of the rest room stall I recently visited...

1)   I don't know about you, but I generally tend to flush things OUT of a toilet. When it comes to things going INTO a toilet, I might toss, drop, deposit, or plunk...but I definitely don't flush.

2)   Only toilet paper , eh? Well see...um...what the farnsworth am I supposed to do with the reason I visited the toilet to begin with?!!??

You've Almost Got a Friend

With apologies to Carole King (and James Taylor)...

♫♪♪♫ 
When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothin'...oh nothin' is goin' right
Quitcher belly achin'
No one really cares
To hear you
Whining all through the night

When you call out my name
My stomach turns into a knot
I get nauseous
When you're in a spot 
Summer, fall, winter, and spring
You always want the same old thing:
"Gimme more! Gimme more! Gimme more!"
But I will not

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
That's nothin' that nobody else has seen
The world isn't ending
And it's not ganging up on you
So grow up
Stop bein' a drama queen

When you call out my name
My stomach turns into a knot
I get nauseous
When you're in a spot 
Summer, fall, winter, and spring
You always want the same old thing:
"Gimme more! Gimme more! Gimme more!"

Hey, you need to know the meal train has stopped
Start using your own two feet
If I'm lyin'
I'm dyin'
I've cut you off, just forget it
If not, you'll regret it

If you call out my name
One more time, I'll give you a shot
You'll be needing
A burial plot
Summer, fall, winter, and spring
You always want the same old thing:
"Gimme more! Gimme more! Gimme more!"
But I will not

No, I will not
Let's just get this straight
I simply will not

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

You want to watch a performance of this?

https://youtu.be/cfrAIR6T5e4

Or just listen to it?

https://soundcloud.com/deweyroth/youve-almost-got-a-friend

P.S.

ANYONE IN MINNESOTA...

Next week is the Dakota County Fair. Plan now to come enjoy the DAKOTA CHAUTAUQUA. I hope to see you there! https://www.facebook.com/DakotaChautauqua/