Life at DocumentCzar is humming along nicely, thank you. My manager's candy bowl consistently supplies me with empty calories and my coworkers' grammar-challenged compositions ensure the necessity of my presence. Another plus is the fresh, cold, filtered water available in the break room. However... When I took a closer look at the water dispenser's logo, I got a little confused.
Choosing a book's title just might be the most important part of an author's (or editor's) job. One small change could ruin everything. For instance...
Fifty Shades of Grey Poupon
The Diary of Canned Franks
The Wonderful Lizard of Odd
The Boring Identity
Dairy of a Wimpy Kid - Holstein Edition
Tuesdays with a Moray
How to Manipulate People into Liking You and Get Them to Do What You Want
To Slander a Mockingbird
Charlotte's Flytrap
Who Moved My Processed Dairy Substance?
The Seven Habits of People Who Always Get Their Own Way
Stalk You Forever
The Da Vinci Cold
The Lord of the Metal Finger Band
The Lion, the Witch, and the Secret Passageway Into Another Land That May be a Dimensional Anomaly
We don't even know who the official major party candidates are yet, and already I am on political overload. So much talking...so little understanding. In an effort to start enjoying the process, let us consider the hidden meanings of some significant names and terms through the wonders of anagrams. Republican = Caliber Pun or Crab Lineup or Nubile Crap or Rub A Pencil Donald Trump = Damp Old Runt Chris Christie = Crisis Hitcher Ted Cruz = Curt Zed Carly Fiorina = A Rainy Frolic or Nil Coif Array Marco Rubio = I Rob Our Mac Ben Carson = Bran Scone (i.e., Good for you, but not very exciting)
Electoral College = Relocate Cello Leg Oval Office = Loaf Of Vice White House = I Shout Whee Senators = So Astern or Are Snots Filibuster = Lustier Fib Incumbents = Numb Insect
Democrat = Coat Mr Ed or Recto Dam Hillary Clinton = Chilly Loin Rant Bernie Sanders = Bans Reindeers or Ensnares Bride or Breeds A Sinner
Judging by life as I know it here in corporate America, hardly anyone is aware of the things on this short list of Actual Factual Stuph. Try to keep your shorts clean as I lay some amazing facts on you.
Not all toilets are self-flushing.
Plastic ice trays do not fill themselves up with water.
Break room countertops do not magically absorb spilled salt, sugar, coffee, and/or whatever that green stuff is that hardened over last weekend.
When the music service your office subscribes to has a playlist of only 40 songs, you get the same song shoved into your ears 20 times a week, i.e., 4 times a day. (File under: Hostile Work Environment)
