Friday, December 28, 2012

2013 Headline Wish List

With the coming year coming soon, here are some headlines I look forward to seeing:

Publisher's Clearinghouse Prize Patrol Makes Visit to Minnesota Blogger

Every Female Recording Artist No Longer Sounds the Same

Celebrities Have Stopped Feeling It Necessary to Advertise Their Sexual Preferences

Apparently, Paris Hilton Has Ceased to Exist
(I think this one may actually be true!)

Skyline Chili Opens Restaurant in Apple Valley, Minnesota

Director Peter Jackson Says "Just Kidding" and Releases The Hobbit as a Two-Part Film Instead of Trilogy

Pete Seeger Leads the General Chiefs of Staff in a Rousing Rendition of "I Ainta Gonna Study War No More"

Required Deportation Begins for Everyone Not Exhibiting a Clear Understanding of the Difference between "Your" and You're"

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