The new year is traditionally a time for taking a hopeful look toward the future: How will this year be different from the last one?
Allow me to offer this short collection of newspaper headlines that I would eagerly welcome, though I sincerely doubt any of them will ever come to pass:
- Al Gore Suffers Heat Exhaustion
- Gasoline Producers Admit Price Gouging; Offer Rebates
- Jay Leno Ceases to Repeat His Punchlines
- Political TV Ads Banned
- Watterson Restarts Calvin & Hobbes
- Britney, Paris, & Lindsay--Nevermind...We Don't Care